there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hippo gnu deer
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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