soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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