Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
MIDGETS
????
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
