went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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