Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize