Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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