Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
