I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
