he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
barbara walters just said penis...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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