So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Congratulations! We have a period
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