Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
