i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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