He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it hurts more in the daytime
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
