Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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