That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
birth control should be required to get into college
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I love you.
Bad choice
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
