after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
