I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
