you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
