ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
