We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
