No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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