Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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