I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
