Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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