The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
