I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
