i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
