Can Purell be used as lube?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
