I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
