Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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