Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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