do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
there's paper in my vomit.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
