How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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