Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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