So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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