This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
