how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
