when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You ruined the universe
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
