I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
