he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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