But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
