there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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