a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
