If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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