sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you never un-have a 4some
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
