I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
