My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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