He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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