your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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