absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
