What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
